“WHERE DO I BEGIN?”: A Tribute to the 40th Anniversary of "Love Story"

I don't know about you, but it came as a shock to realize that Dec. 16, 2010, marks the fortieth anniversary of the release of the film Love Story. So, I thought it appropriate to pay homage to this movie, that for my generation, embodied what true love is all about.

For those of you who've never seen it, or are too young to remember, Love Story was a cultural phenomenon. Based on a number one best seller by Erich Segal and a huge hit at the box office, it was nominated for seven Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Actor for Ryan O'Neal, and Best Actress for Ali MacGraw. (That alone is one for Ripley).

Ali plays Jennifer, a beautiful, talented college student who's poor and snotty, but her real problem is that she's dying from a disease that's never mentioned and never seems to affect her mobility, brain function or complexion. As Rhoda Morganstern said in an episode of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "terminal, but cute." Jennifer falls for the equally beautiful, and dim-witted, Oliver, who is rich and snotty, and has a father who makes Dick Cheney look like Mister Rogers. Oliver's father objects to his son's engagement and cuts him off without a cent. But Oliver doesn't care. No, he and Jenny have a love and devotion so deep that it transcends college tuition fees.

Now, mind you, they barely kiss in this movie. And sex scenes? Fuggedaboudit! No, Oliver and Jenny spend most of their time drinking hot chocolate during hot and heavy study sessions, cavorting in the snow and staring at each other while the hit theme song, composed by Francis Lai, swells on the soundtrack. PLAY MUSIC. That's enough. STOP MUSIC. Yes, the only lay in this movie is Francis.

But there's a slogan. Oh, boy, is there ever. After making Jenny cry in a scene sponsored by Kleenex and waterproof mascara, Oliver tells her from the bottom of his heart that he's sorry. And then it comes, the line heard round the world and quoted on every bus station and billboard in the country. "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

What is that? I mean, what the #$% is that? Remember, this movie was taken seriously in its day and that slogan was considered, God help us, profound. I guess the idea was that if you truly love someone, you would never do anything to hurt them, so you would never have to say I'm sorry.

Bulls@#t.

I don't know about you, but the ones I truly love are the sorriest bunch of people on this planet. Me, included. Ask my partner, Ira. As popular phrases in the Jasinover-Napolitano household go, "I'm sorry" ranks right up there with "No, Peter, you can't watch Loretta Young, tonight. There's a "Doctor Who" marathon on." Anyone who's ever been in a real, lasting relationship knows that caring deeply about someone gives you the motive and the opportunity to hurt the hell out of each other. And anyone who's still in a real, lasting relationship knows that the only way to heal the hurt is to be sorry about it and say so. But not Oliver and Jenny. No, they're too busy throwing snowballs at each other and wearing pretty sweaters.

Which brings me to the end of the movie. And yes, folks, there is a happy ending.

She dies.

No, this is a very good thing. It allows Jenny to stay young, beautiful and boring – forever! It brings Oliver and his neo-Nazi father back together, making Oliver rich again, while giving Ryan O'Neal a chance to say the same slogan to Ray Milland that Ali MacGraw said to him. (It was in his contract.) And most importantly it gives Francis Lai another chance to reprise that omnipresent theme song. PLAY MUSIC. That's enough. STOP MUSIC.

So, in closing, I think it's important to remember and honor Love Story as a book and a movie that screwed up an entire generation of baby boomers. Its uplifting message appealed to everyone. It's okay if we're not completely satisfied with our relationships because true love can only happen if we're both beautiful, one of us dies, and the other is rich. It also proves that crap sells. But, hey, crap can be fun, too. So, Ira, I have a surprise for you. When I come home tonight, I'm going to put Love Story into our DVD player and we're going to watch it. But, not to worry. After it's over, I promise I won't forget to say, "Ira, I'm sorry."

Thanks for reading my column! And thanks to Hector Coris for the cartoon masthead. If you have a comment, question, correction or suggestion, please email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .