Oscar Re-cap

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin have to be the funniest team since Turner and Hooch, but I wanted more of them. There should have been more Steve and Alec and less tweens and twinkies, who all seem to look alike to me. And Robert Downey, Jr.? LOVE HIM! I don’t care what anyone says, the sneakers and the blue bow tie were fabulous. Now, on to the highlights of the evening: Classiest Moment: Sandra Bullock’s praise of the other women in her category. Best Moment: three-way-tie - Mo’Nique thanking Hattie McDaniel, Barbra giving the Oscar to Kathryn Bigelow and Hurt Locker kicking the shit out of Avatar. It ain’t always about the money. Funniest In-Joke: Ben Stiller in blue speaking, well, Hebrew. For all you non-Jews, yes, that was Hebrew and it was hilarious.

Memo to the WORLD!!! KIRSTIE ALLEY IS BACK!!! Yes, peeps, our girl Kirstie is back and better than ever! Starting this March 21^st, “Kirstie Alley’s BIG LIFE” is coming to A&E! Cameras follow our girl around the house, along with her two kids, assorted animals, assistant and the assistant-in-training, just being Kirstie. What’s not to love about this? Here’s the trailer, courtesy of the Huffington Post – who else? Love her thin, love her fat…maybe it’s just me, but I think our girl is hot either way.  What do you all think?

Memo to “The View” & Barbara Walters!

Ok, time to dump Hasselbeck! Really, I am so amazed that Joy has not hit her with a shovel and Whoopi hasn’t walked off the set. If the show needs a token Republican, what’s wrong with Meghan McCain? The woman has brains, looks, class and obviously that chip in her brain that Elizabeth seems to be missing. You know, the chip that prevents you from saying unbelievably stupid things that make people want to punch you out? Time to make the change, Barbara!!! Send Elizabeth to O’Reilly!

Memo to ABC!

First, last week's "Ugly Betty." I have never laughed so hard! Ok, maybe it was a bit scary realizing that I knew EVERY drag queen on the show, from my darling Hedda Lettuce to RuPaul to Varla Jean & Justin Bond. Not to mention Vanessa's brother, Chris Williams, in HIGH DRAG as "The Wonderfully Wicked Wilheldiva Hater." And Kristen Johnston as Helen needs to be locked up! And they're taking this show off the air? Uh, hello? ABC...where are the queens who run your network???

As we all know, “The Guiding Light” is over, “As the World Turns” will end this September and “All My Children” fled to the other coast, leaving “One Life to Live” as New York City’s sole surviving Daytime Drama. Considering that daytime TV racks up between 2-4 million viewers per day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, what are these network people thinking?

For the Record – Leno sucks, NBC sucks, Conan got robbed and Jimmy Kimmel is the only show to watch anyway. Kimmel donned a wig and a prosthetic chin and smacked Leno up one side and down the other. Every time he told a Leno-esque (read “bad”) joke, Cleto and the band hit dissonant chords and rim shots. Like nobody noticed that Leno is a lousy stand-up? Even Jimmy Fallon has a better show than Leno, and that’s saying a lot. Ok, Fallon is adorable and funny and snuggly, whatever.

Ok, I confess; I’m a TV junkie. It’s my “jones” & I’ve been hooked since the day I was born. My parents had a TV set before me & I distinctly remember being smaller than that old Magnavox in the living room, with its cabinet doors that opened to reveal what seemed to be a huge screen, with a speaker below.