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Memo to: Oprah…still haven’t watched the final shows…oh wait, don’t care! What the TVJ does care about is Anderson Cooper’s new show and Rosie's new show. Stay tuned!
Daytime Report:
The TVJ’s daytime wish has come true!!! No, not the fact that “AMC” and “OLTL” have been saved from the guillotine (SPOILER: due to contract negotiations, “AMC” will begin in January after a break, and “OLTL” will make the transition without a break…maybe), or that the spectacular Constance Towers is back on “General Hospital” as Helena Cassadine,
but the fact that the two most annoying characters, not only on “GH,” but probably in all of daytime, are gone.
Buh-bye Jasper Jacks (Ingo Rademacher) and thanks for taking the even more annoying, whiny Brenda Barrett (annoyingly played by Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo) with you. Why they brought her back, the TVJ will never know! Oh, think you can fit the MORE annoying (if that’s even possible!) Liz (Rebecca Herbst)
on the plane with you two? And when are they going to end this stupid, stupid, “Jackal P.I.” crap with Spinelli? And where is Diane, who wrote the book with Spinelli, in all of this? Hello? Continuity!!! Please, finish thejob so the TVJ can finally stop fast-forwarding through “GH.”
This Week on “Roseanne’s Nuts”:
And that she is! What she also is, is brilliantly, wickedly, funny in an “I can’t believe that I’m laughing at this s*@t” kind of funny. Roseanne is now living with her boyfriend John,
in Hawai’i on the Big Island, on her macadamia nut farm. No Lie. She hunts pigs for eating her nuts, but wants to let them go because she can’t kill them and eat them. She tells the pig to leave and not come back. The pig leaves. No, really. Then there’s Roseanne driving the tractor, Roseanne calling to her goats with goat cackles, Roseanne cutting down trees with a chain-saw, Roseanne wearing a mask for sleep apnea, Roseanne surfing (as a Mother’s Day gift while John & her son Jake attempt to clean the house), Roseanne bringing in a shaman to cleanse the haunted Hawaiian museum she owns and, yes…here it is: Roseanne singing “The Star Spangled Banner” (with the help of her BFF Bonnie Bramlett), to the cheers of her family. Add the singing trio of native Hawaiians (complete with ukulele!) moving the plot along, and you have an episode of “Green Acres” gone really, really, really, wrong. But, Roseanne is Roseanne, and that’s why we love her and watch her. She’s not afraid to be herself and if you don’t like it, you can hop a plane to Oahu!
As Jake said to John, “I don’t know how you do it, man!” John, I love. John, I adore. And he gets her, like nobody ever has. Add her kids, her grandkids and her mantra chanting, yoga practicing, boy guru, and, well, you get what reality TV should be: funny and REAL! 
Just as the TVJ followed “Our Girl Kirstie” and “My Snooki,” this season, the TVJ will be following Roseanne and her nuts!
New Stuff: Lisa Kudrow is a genius. Two words: “Web Therapy.” Fiona Wallice (Kudrow), in spite of her somewhat befuddled and skeptical husband, Kip (the brilliant and hilarious Victor Garber), sets out to make a bundle by offering therapy to a bunch of emotional wrecks in 3-minute internet sessions. As a series of guest stars (Lily Tomlin, Courtney Cox, Alan Cumming and Kudrow’s creative partner, Dan Bucatinsky) parade through, Kudrow dispenses advice that can only be described as “revolutionary,”followed closely by “what?” Trying to (not) be supportive, Garber quips, “The only thing that makes money on the internet is sex & genealogy…or so I’ve heard,” with the sly wink to Kudrow’s other producing venture, “Who Do You Think You Are.” As an extra added attraction, here’s a link to the Meryl Streep episode, complete with outtakes…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsteDS5-DqE DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW! The TVJ loves “Switched at Birth,” which surrounds the story of two families who discover that their daughters, now teen-agers, were switched at the hospital soon after they were born. Here’s the hook: Daphne (Katie Leclerc) is blonde, blue-eyed, deaf and raised by a single Latina mother (played by the magnificent Constance Marie, late of “The George Lopez Show); Bay (Vanessa Marano), is dark, artistic, fearless and raised by wealthy parents
(D.W. Moffett & Lea Thompson).
What could have been a sappy, formulaic, teen weeper, is actually a rather multi-layered, family drama with some jaw dropping character twists and turns. Since the TVJ is a lucky adoptee, she is fascinated by the whole “nature vs. nurture” concept. If any of you have had the pleasure of the TVJ’s brothers, well, ‘nuf said!
The REAL “Mob Wives”: Leave it to “Funny or Die” to come up with this one, starring Drea de Matteo and Sophia Bush, in a “Mob Wives” send-up of the first order! The TVJ loves her some “Funny or Die” Here’s the link… http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4fc0d632b5/mob-wives-with-sophia-bush-drea-de-matteo?utm_campaign=newsletter20110714&utm_content=fv3&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_term=fd
Soapbox Moment of the Day: 
Kudos to “In Plain Sight” for last week’s episode about a vet and his buddy who witness two officers selling arms to the Taliban. One soldier dies and the other goes into WITSEC, after testifying. But that’s not the story; it’s what this soldier is going through in the aftermath of his buddy’s 
death and the guilt that follows him into hiding that makes the story. So many soldiers have to deal with PTSD and other emotional problems when they return home, and this episode was so well written and acted (with a guest appearance by the wonderful Joel Gretsch, of the late, lamented “The 4400”), reminding us to never forget what our troops have been subjected to in this war that seems to never end.
Any comments or questions? E-mail the TVJ at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Make sure to write “TV Junkie” in the subject line, or you’ll wind up in the spam file!
Follow “The TV Junkie” on Twitter @thetvjunkiepml
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